141. Direct Your Attention on These 4 Elements When Communicating Needs Skillfully

Are you finding it challenging to communicate your needs clearly without coming across as inconsiderate? Alejandra Siroka continues her series on "Communicating Needs Skillfully" and uncovers how to express needs in a way that they can be heard and honored by others.


Alejandra asserts that when communication stems from a sense of self-worth and a sincere desire for mutual understanding, it naturally takes on a warm and inviting tone—a tone that significantly impacts the listener's perception of the message and their openness to addressing the expressed needs. She shares four essential elements that need to be present when we communicate our needs skillfully:


  1. Conscious Intentions - Our intentions shape our tone of voice and influence the message's reception.
  2. Mindful Selection of Words - Alejandra advises against using language that blames, accuses, or manipulates. Instead, she gives a tip to assess how those words might be received by others.
  3. Communicating Values - Expressing the values behind our needs can enhance the listener's willingness to hear and support our needs.
  4. Expressing Needs without Attachment to Outcome - Alejandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing that others are not responsible for meeting our needs. She highlights the necessity of being creative when it comes to meeting our own needs.


If you understand the importance of communicating your needs but struggle to put it into practice, Alejandra can provide personalized assistance. She offers an invitation to join the Language Alchemy Group Coaching program starting this month. This three-month journey is designed to enhance your communication skills with tailored support. It's an ideal opportunity for those seeking personal growth and healthier relationships by addressing communication goals and challenges.



• “If your intention is grounded in showing up as a human being who's worthy, not entitled, but worthy of collaboration and contribution, then your tone of voice will naturally be warm and inviting. It will communicate to the other person that your needs are something positive.” (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka) 

• "Intention is crucial because even though you will not be expressing your intention out loud, your intention is going to be communicated in your tone of voice." (05:36 | Alejandra Siroka)

• "When you let the other person know how, by supporting your needs, they are contributing to something important for you, the other person is more likely not only to hear your needs, but also to be willing and happy to support them. Because they're hearing loud and clear that they will be contributing to something valuable." (14:22 | Alejandra Siroka) 

• "When we are in conscious relationships with others, We understand that other people are not responsible for meeting our needs. We are responsible for meeting our needs." (15:12 | Alejandra Siroka) 



To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:


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To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion

To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone

To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples

To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient

To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy

Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD


Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm