134. Navigate Sensitive Conversations With These 5 Questions
Are you gearing up for a crucial conversation and hoping to avoid the usual pitfalls of frustration and misunderstanding? In this episode, Alejandra introduces a powerful framework rooted in Buddhist wisdom called "wise speech." It's designed to assist you in navigating sensitive conversations with greater ease, fostering understanding and deeper connections. By asking yourself five profound questions, you can transform your approach to challenging discussions and unlock the potential for positive outcomes.
The five questions to ask yourself before having a sensitive conversation are:
- Is what I want to talk about useful? Consider whether expressing your feelings and needs would be beneficial for both you and the other person involved. Will it lead to positive changes and a deeper connection?
- Is what I want to talk about truthful? Reflect on the accuracy of your perception and whether your feelings are based on facts or assumptions. Ensure that your communication is grounded in truth to avoid misunderstandings.
- Is this a good time to talk about this? Assess whether both you and the other person are in a place where you can truly listen and engage in a meaningful conversation. Timing is crucial for skillful communication.
- Am I feeling kindness, care, and warmth towards both of us? Check your emotional state and make sure you approach the conversation with empathy and compassion. If you're harboring anger or judgment, it may be better to work on cultivating kindness before engaging in the discussion.
- What am I feeling in my body? Pay attention to your physical sensations and assess whether you feel grounded, calm, open, and spacious. If you're experiencing tension or intensity, address those first before initiating the conversation.
These questions offer a unique perspective on communication, emphasizing the importance of expressing ourselves with love, compassion, and kindness. They go beyond choosing the right words, delving into the subtleties of body language, tone of voice, and actions. By incorporating these questions into your communication practice, you can turn challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
Quotes
• “The Buddhist concept of wise speech offers us a way to express ourselves anchored in our capacity to let our essential wisdom emerge. According to Buddhism, our essential wisdom is consistently loving, compassionate, and kind.” (3:54 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "These questions have helped so many of my clients communicate something important skillfully and have a deeper sense of connection with others and even have their support.” (12:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “These five questions will help you decide if your communication is likely to be skillful or unskillful, and whether your communication is likely to have a positive or a negative impact. If you notice you can't have skillful conversations with the closest people in your life, or if you now realize that when you bring important things up, there's a negative impact, then it's time to get some support.” (14:36 | Alejandra Siroka)
Links
Language Alchemy episode 51: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147759144
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
