119. What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say: Real Examples

Are you struggling with knowing what to say or do when you know someone is in pain? With recent events in the Middle East as a backdrop, Alejandra Siroka shares her 5-step approach to navigating these conversations, as well as real life examples of the things you can say or do to show up with good intentions, respect, and compassion.  


At the start, it is so important to acknowledge the pain and suffering of others. Alejandra emphasizes the power of empathic acknowledgement, using both words and tone of voice to convey understanding and compassion. She offers suggestions for how to approach these conversations, whether you are initiating them or responding to someone in need. Alejandra highlights the significance of checking in with yourself as you navigate these conversations so that you can ensure that your words and actions are supportive and helpful. She also offers guidance on how to respond when triggered or unsure of what to say in the conversation.  If you are looking for real examples of, Alejandra provides many sample phrases that you can use or and make your own.


Our human family needs each of us to show up for one another as loving, caring and compassionate connections.  This episode provides real resources to help you do just that.



• "When things are painful, it is so important that we reach out to those we believe are suffering." (0:00 | Alejandra Siroka)

• “We cannot decrease the pain, we cannot offer comfort if we don't acknowledge that something is happening." (8:41 | Alejandra Siroka)

• “The way you acknowledge what's happening is very important. And you do that with your words and also with your tone of voice. We need to use a confident and compassionate tone of voice when we enter into this space, a space of what I'd like to call empathic acknowledgement.” (9:49 | Alejandra Siroka)

• “If someone's telling you about how hard this is for them, I'd like you to know that you have infinite options as to how to respond. But before you can respond, you need to know what kind of space you are in. It's kind of like an inner acknowledgement of where you are in this moment. If you don't know what kind of space you're in, what you say or what you do next may be useless, unskillful, and it may create disconnection.” (15:51 | Alejandra Siroka) 

• "If you've reached out to someone that you believe is having a hard time and that person is not responding, then you can reach out to them again and simply let them know that they are on your mind, that they are in your heart." (20:26 | Alejandra Siroka)


To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme

To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com

To listen to the Language Alchemy Podcast episode 109: Empathy vs. Sympathy, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148071027

To listen to the Language Alchemy Podcast episode 110: 5 Strategies for Skillful Empathic Communication, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148087420

To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion

To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone

To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples

To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient

To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy

Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD


Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm