114. 5 Steps to Break the Spell of a Mind Story
Have you ever caught yourself captured by a story created by your own mind? Most of us are unaware of the narratives we tell ourselves, leading us to unknowingly act upon these stories. We may find ourselves holding back when we want to speak up, saying things we don’t mean, or even taking hurtful action all based on a mind story.
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the intricacies of our internal communication system. Just like the childhood game of broken telephone, our minds tend to filter and distort the messages we receive. But unlike the game, we're often unaware of this happening within our internal dialogue.
We may unknowingly create stories that lead us astray from what is true, causing self-sabotage, damaged relationships, and missed opportunities for growth and connection. Alejandra provides practical examples and strategies to help you untangle the web of mind stories and cultivate awareness of your thoughts.
Cultivating the skill of self-reflection helps us to recognize the stories we tell ourselves and prevent misunderstandings, release anxiety, and make decisions based on clarity and presence.
• “What's really important to notice here is that many times, even though we told ourselves a story that we ourselves created, we take action based on the story that we made up in our mind. So, we say things that later on we regret, or we do things that may be hurtful to others and also to ourselves. We may damage a relationship. We may self sabotage ourselves and get the opposite of what we say we want. We may keep meaningful relationships on the surface. That is to say, we miss beautiful opportunities for growth, for meaningful connection, or intimacy.” (4:59 | Alejandra)
• “Give yourself the space to pause and ask yourself if there's a story you are telling yourself.” (12:58 | Alejandra)
• “Then, either write the story down or share it with someone who can be present and compassionate with you. This is very important because if you share it with someone who's going to make your story bigger than it is, or someone who's going to judge you or make fun of you for having this mind story, then that's not going to be in the least helpful”. (13:07 | Alejandra)
• “The third step is to ask yourself about what kind of evidence you have that this story is not true or not completely true.” (13:31 | Alejandra)
• "Look for familiar themes in that mind story, themes such as 'Others don't like me,' or 'I'm going to be rejected,' or 'I don't belong.'” (14:51 | Alejandra)
• “Now, the last step, step number five, is to connect to how you want to talk to yourself when these stories come up and you hear them in your internal dialogue.” (15:58 | Alejandra)
• “If you realize that it's hard for you to describe or specify how you would like to talk to yourself in those moments, or how you would like to communicate with others, then it would be so helpful for you to get support with your communication.” (16:38 | Alejandra)
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD