105. Are You Communicating with an Intention or an Agenda?

To engage in conscious communication means taking the time to consider your intention first in order to make sure you are communicating skillfully during each interaction. In order to determine and set your intention, you have to understand what an intention is. Today, host and transformative communication coach Alejandra explains the difference between having an intention and having an agenda, as well as why the distinction between the two is so important for conscious communication.


At first glance, an intention and an agenda seem quite similar. They are both related to the desire for what you want to have happen in the future. The difference is that with intention, you are consciously focusing on how you want to show up throughout an interaction, being careful to stick to that intention regardless of the other person’s words or actions. With an agenda, you are focusing instead on what you want to happen as a result of the interaction with little to no regard for what the other person wants or the context. By choosing to communicate with an agenda, you are setting yourself up for potential disappointment, as you cannot control how other people feel or behave. An intention, on the other hand, is something that you set for yourself. 


To get used to communicating with intention instead of an agenda, start by having one interaction a day where you generate your intention beforehand. Maybe you want to communicate lovingly with a family member during a difficult conversation or you want to be more present while listening to your partner when they tell you about their day. The more you practice communicating with intention, the easier it will be to leave agendas in the past.



• “When we have an agenda, we want something very specific to happen and we have little to no consideration of the other person or the context.” (9:54 | Alejandra)

• “Having an intention sets you up for conscious interactions.” (11:55 | Alejandra) 

• “When you have an intention, you think about how you want to show up in that interaction, and as you are interacting with the other person, you keep your intention in mind.” (12:18 | Alejandra)

• “Once a day, generate an intention before you talk to someone.” (13:45 | Alejandra)



To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com

To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion

To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone

To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples

To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient

To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy

Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD


Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm