92. Be Sure Equality Is Present in Your Partnership
“The values of equity and equality have to do with how we relate to power. And in every intimate relationship power can be held by one person, and it can also be shared,” explains host Alejandra, transformative communication teacher and coach. Today, Alejandra discusses how to establish equality in communication with your partner.
When equality is present in your partnership, you and your partner have the same rights and responsibilities. You treat one another as equals and there is no power imbalance. When equality is not present, your partner may have more rights than you and you may feel uncomfortable expressing your feelings. Or the opposite could be true, you may have more rights, where your partner has more responsibilities. In order to improve your intimate relationship with your partner, aim to communicate in a way that prioritizes equality. As an example, if you talk for 5 minutes, then your partner gets that same amount of time to talk as well.
To have a healthy and mature partnership, power needs to be shared. If you are both conscious and intentional about sharing power, holding space for each other to express yourselves, and taking equal responsibility for conflict, then it is likely that equality is present in your partnership. However, if the opposite is the case, then it may be time to evaluate your communication and see where you can begin to incorporate equality.
Quotes
• “The values of equity and equality have to do with how we relate to power. And in every intimate relationship, power can be held by one person and it can also be shared.” (4:33-4:46 | Alejandra)
• “If you want to have a healthy and mature conscious partnership, there needs to be shared power. And shared power happens when your communication has both equity and equality.” (5:22-5:37 | Alejandra)
• “When you have equality in your communication with your partner, you both have the same rights and responsibilities.” (7:56-8:02 | Alejandra)
• “It's very hard to have intimacy and deep connection with your partner when you don't feel that you are equals.” (11:01-11:08 | Alejandra)
Links
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
