81. Communicating Love to Yourself
“To be able to appreciate others and give positive feedback, to have the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and their limitations, to be able to hold space for others and listen to others, we need to be able to communicate lovingly. And it's extremely hard to do this with others if we don't do it with ourselves,” shares host Alejandra. In order to extend love and compassion to others, it's important to be able to give love and compassion to yourself. Today, Alejandra discusses how to transform your self talk and treat yourself in a more loving way.
When you talk to yourself, are you often critical? If you frequently speak to yourself in an unloving way, you may struggle with being gentle and compassionate when speaking to others. You may even judge others more harshly based on the criteria you use to judge yourself. By learning to be kinder with yourself, you can then extend that kindness to others.
We can often be our own worst critic. With Valentine’s Day approaching, instead of thinking only about how to express love to others, consider first expressing love inwardly. The more compassionate you are with yourself, the more understanding and loving you can be with others.
• “The Dalai Lama looked down in silence and started to weep. He couldn't understand why we would communicate with ourselves in these harsh ways and inflict so much suffering on ourselves. After wiping his tears off his face, the Dalai Lama said to the woman that his advice for everyone who had this experience was to learn to extend love and compassion to oneself. He said, extending love and compassion to yourself is the way to be able to give true love and compassion to another.” (6:04-6:43 | Alejandra)
• “If you discover that you are treating yourself in an unloving way, you can learn to change this.” (8:37-8:44 | Alejandra)
• “To be able to appreciate others and give positive feedback, to have the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and their limitations, to be able to hold space for others and listen to others, we need to be able to communicate lovingly. And it's extremely hard to do this with others if we don't do it with ourselves.” (11:58-12:20 | Alejandra)
• “As you consider how to express love for others as Valentine's Day approaches, I encourage you to consider first how you can turn that expression of love towards yourself.” (12:21-12:33 | Alejandra)
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI