67. Conflict Can Be Scary

“Something scary for a lot of people when it comes to communication is conflict,” explains host Alejandra. Although challenging others may frighten us more than our favorite horror movie, conflict can help us find common ground with others. In honor of Halloween, Alejandra shares how to deal with the fear of confrontation.


Whenever we feel angry or hurt, we tell ourselves scary stories about the other person. We may feel confronting them is an act of war, leading to a never-ending fight, but conflict can be a positive. If we approach conflict like an opportunity to share our feelings with our loved ones and hear their side as well, we will no longer be afraid but be glad for the chance to deepen our relationships.


The more we face our fears, the less scary they become. Learn more about understanding our inner dialogue, why we avoid fighting, and how to use conflict to connect.



 “Something scary for a lot of people when it comes to communication is conflict.” (1:29-1:35 | Alejandra)

 “People are scared of conflict because they equate the word conflict with “fighting.” And truthfully, this meaning of conflict is accurate.”(1:44-1:46 | Alejandra)

 “It's completely understandable that if you see conflict as a fight, or a battle, one in which you have to take a stance of a position, one in which you're going to have to fight your enemy, conflict will be scary for you.” (7:15-7:31 | Alejandra)

 “Wherever there are people, there's going to be conflict. When we can sort out these experiences to listen to one another with openness, what we find is not only our common humanity but also a deepening in our connection.” (9:18-9:37 | Alejandra) 

 “Don't be afraid of conflict, be ready for it. Because wherever there are people, there's going to be a conflict, but you are the one who gets to decide how to approach it.” (12:48-13:00 | Alejandra)



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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI


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