63. Want More Satisfying Relationships?
“When life and relationships are frustrating, usually, it’s because there's some kind of communication breakdown,” explains host Alejandra, a transformative communication coach. Although it’s easier said than done, Alejandra understands that we all want satisfying relationships. In today’s episode, Alejandra provides simple and effective advice for building healthier, more joyous connections with others.
Often when we refer to issues in our relationships, we frame them with external factors and an expectation for the other person to change, a thought pattern from our childhoods. Instead, we need to observe our behavior and assess whether we are the ones leading the relationship to our own dissatisfaction. After all, relationships are a two-way street, and it’s up to us to create the bonds we want.
Now that we’re mature adults, we can lead to more fulfilling relationships. Learn more about the physical toll of unhealthy relationships, the origins of relational language, and tips for improving your overall communication.
Quotes
• “When you are having lots of dissatisfying relationships, your nervous system is not the only one affected.” (1:40-1:47 | Alejandra)
• “When life and relationships are frustrating, usually, it’s because there's some kind of communication breakdown.” (4:13-4:19 | Alejandra)
• “Since communication and relationships are a two-way street, we are the ones that need to know how we are communicating and behaving, creating dissatisfaction for us in our relationships.” (11:16-11:31| Alejandra)
• “We are the ones that need to know what about our communication we need to change so that we can have more mature and satisfying relationships, having that kind of expectation, placing our attention on how we are communicating that's giving us the kind of relationships we're having. Well, now that's really going to help you have more of the relationships that you want and less of the relationships that you don't want.” (11:37-12:16 Alejandra)
• “We're always communicating, but we're not always aware of how we communicate until there's a problem with it.” (14:21-14:29 Alejandra)
• “You need to learn to shift your expectations and your attention. You need to learn to notice how you are communicating or not communicating, bringing you a sense of dissatisfaction in your relationships.” (14:40-14:53 Alejandra)
Links
To sign up for the free workshop Healthy Relationships at Home and Work: How to avoid the 3 most common communication mistakes, visit: languagealchemy.com/workshop
To take the What's Your Most Self-sabotaging Communication Habit quiz, visit: languagealchemy.com/quiz
To ask a question or request a topic, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To download the 5 Steps to Redirect Your Reactivity Guide, visit: languagealchemy.com/5steps
To receive the Transformative Communication Toolkit, join the mailing list, and view show notes, visit: languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
