206. What Do Your Conversations Say About Your Values?

We all have values we say are important to us, love, connection, respect, kindness, equality, honesty, presence, and more. But do our everyday conversations actually reflect those values?

In this episode, Alejandra explores how your relational values show up in the small communication choices you make every day: what you let slide, what you interrupt, what you avoid, what you ask, and what you make space for.

Through examples from work, friendships, and romantic relationships, Alejandra invites you to notice the gap between the values you say you hold dear and the values your communication may actually reveal.

You'll explore what happens when we stay silent instead of speaking up, interrupt to correct someone, avoid an important conversation, or ask questions without making space for another person's experience. You'll also discover how these same communication choices can become opportunities to express values like courage, care, presence, connection, and respect.

The episode also introduces a five-step transformative communication process to help you examine a recent conversation, identify what you were valuing in the moment, notice any gaps between your values and your communication, and choose one small action to bring your relational values more fully into your everyday interactions.

At the heart of this episode is a simple question:

If someone listened to your conversations this week, what would they say you value, and what would you love for them to say?

Quotes from the Episode

“Values are our North Star. They are our compass.”

“The question isn't whether we interrupt. The question is: what are our interruptions in service of? What values are they revealing?”

“It's so good to notice without guilt, without shame, but just with awareness.”

“Is this the most important value I want in this conversation, in this moment, with this person?”

“When we close the gap, even a little, something shifts. Our words begin to match who we are.”

In This Episode

How your conversations reveal your relational values
The gap between the values you say you hold and the values your communication actually reveals
What silence, interruptions, and avoidance communicate
How the questions you ask can reflect presence, intimacy, and care
How unconscious habits and inherited communication patterns influence your conversations
A five-step transformative communication tool for aligning your communication with your values

Pre-Order Language Alchemy

Alejandra's book, Language Alchemy: The Essential Communication Tool Kit for a Life of Peace, Authenticity, and Meaning, explores these ideas further with practical tools for transforming how you communicate and relate to others.

Pre-order the Book:

https://www.languagealchemybook.com/