182: What is Passive Aggressive Communication? Recognizing Hidden Messages in Your Relationships
Passive aggression hides beneath polite words and careful smiles, creating confusion and distance in relationships that crave honesty and emotional safety.
Alejandra Siroka begins a new mini-series by inviting listeners to understand passive-aggressive communication not as cruelty or manipulation but as a protective response born from fear, powerlessness, or cultural conditioning. She reveals how indirect language—sarcasm, silence, backhanded compliments, or half-hearted agreement—often signals discomfort that feels too risky to express directly.
Rather than labeling these moments as toxic, Alejandra encourages awareness. What if the tension you feel in a conversation isn’t hostility but an attempt to stay safe? What changes when you notice the mismatch between someone’s words and their energy with curiosity instead of blame?
Through relatable examples and compassionate reflection, she helps listeners uncover the roots of passive aggression and begin seeing it as a learned pattern that can soften with understanding. This first part of the mini-series lays the foundation for a more conscious way to relate, one that replaces confusion with clarity and hidden resentment with genuine connection.
Quotes
- “Passive-aggressive communication is a way of expressing something we consider uncomfortable in an indirect way." (04:15 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “That's the tricky thing about passive aggression. It operates in the space between what is said and what is meant. And it leaves the person on the receiving end feeling confused, questioning their perception, and often absorbing guilt or shame that isn't theirs.” (10:00 | Alejandra Siroka)
- "People who communicate with passive aggression are not bad people. They are wonderful, good, loving humans, just like you, who happen to be reacting." (10:46 | Alejandra Siroka)
- "Passive aggression often emerges when someone feels they have no direct power or voice in a situation." (13:00 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “Passive-aggressive communication is the indirect expression of uncomfortable feelings, opinions, experiences, wants, and needs. And we communicate that through words, tone, or behavior that don't match what we mean.” (16:15 | Alejandra Siroka)
Links
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To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
