90. A Must-have Communication Tool to Transform Your Life And Relationships
“If you're not having the meaningful, nourishing, kind and healthy relationships you deserve, it is because you are not communicating in alignment with your relational values,” explains host Alejandra, transformative communication teacher and coach. Today, Alejandra shares a must-have communication tool to transform your life and relationships.
One of the most impactful ways you can transform your life and relationships is to communicate consciously. If you’re not getting what you want to experience in your relationships, it is likely that you are not communicating in alignment with your relational values and are instead aligning with your unconscious habits or beliefs. In order to communicate in alignment with your values, you have to first define what they are. Alejandra shares a story about Kenyatta Leal, a man who was imprisoned and struggling with loneliness, unable to understand why his family didn’t want to pick up his phone calls anymore. Kenyatta meets a wise man in prison who tells him to write down his 10 relational values. When Kenyatta realizes that he is not living or communicating from a place of alignment with those values and that much of his pain is self-inflicted, it changes his entire life.
Alejandra recommends writing down your 10 most important relational values and getting familiar with them. Once you know your values, you can make conscious changes in your communication. By communicating consciously you will be able to have more fulfilling and meaningful relationships with yourself and others.
• “If what you would like is to be able to communicate effectively or skillfully, then you need to know that effective skillful communication is not about saying the right thing, or avoiding saying the wrong thing. Communicating skillfully is about communicating consciously.” (1:33-1:54 | Alejandra)
• “Values are your North Star. They are your compass to help you make decisions to help you live your life.” (3:47-3:56 | Alejandra)
• “When my communication students and coaching clients align their communication with their own relational values, everything changes for them.” (5:09-5:18 | Alejandra)
• “If you're not having the meaningful, nourishing, kind and healthy relationships you deserve, it is because you are not communicating in alignment with your relational values.” (11:24-11:37 | Alejandra)
• “When we're not experiencing what we want in life, it's because we're communicating in alignment with our habits and beliefs, most of which are unconscious.” (12:33-12:43 | Alejandra)
• “Our values are not habitual. We are very conscious and aware of our values.” (12:49-12:55 | Alejandra)
To join the mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To sign up for the Choosing True Connection 8-week Online Group Coaching Program waiting list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
To view The Last Mile's website, visit: https://thelastmile.org
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI