75. When You Don’t Like What You Hear
“We communicate in the way we learned to communicate, which means we can unlearn it,” explains host Alejandra. When Alejandra was a child, her father would tell her about a story of a scorpion who could not change his venomous ways due to his nature. Finding this story inaccurate, Alejandra shares how we can modify our behaviors in social interactions and communicate consciously.
In the scorpion story, the scorpion couldn’t help but sting the frog he asked for help, simply because he was a scorpion. While finding this a bleak and untrue message, Alejandra reminds the listeners that we can act differently if our habits no longer serve us. If we hear someone say something we do not like, we can choose not to react negatively or unfairly. Through self-reflection, we can understand our behavioral patterns and make helpful adjustments that lead to better results.
As adults, we always have the power to change. Learn more about the truth about human nature, why we can’t control others' behavior, and how to do something different if you’re not getting the reactions you want.
• “We don't have to go along with our personality structures or habits. If we are aware of our personalities and behavior and communication patterns, we can choose to say or do something different.” (7:49-8:05 | Alejandra)
• “We communicate in the way we learned to communicate, which means we can unlearn it and learn many different new ways that can give us different results.” (8:16-8:27 | Alejandra)
• “I'm not the same person I was ten or five years ago. I bet the same is true for you. I have a greater capacity to communicate and to decide How to behave. And I bet you too. And I've seen so many people I've worked with do the same people who, like the frog, trusted others who were supposed to be, quote-unquote, enemies, and they were not let down. In fact, they were supported and loved. I've also seen and worked with people who behaved like scorpions and made tremendous changes in their lives and chose not to sting others. Again, you are not the way you behave or the way you communicate. Because you like me, and all of us, you are a human adult who has choices.” (9:49-10:45 | Alejandra)
• “You can learn to do or say something different. If you give yourself the gift and space to reflect on this and journal, tap into your wish to have a different outcome.” (16:31-16:45 | Alejandra)
• “You are a capable, loving, and compassionate human adult who has the ability to choose.” (17:43-17:51 | Alejandra)
• “You can choose to do or say something different, especially when what you've been doing no longer works for you.” (19:04-19:14 | Alejandra)
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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI