190. Three Words to Keep Your Marriage Thriving. It's Not I love you.

Long-term love stays alive when you stop assuming you chose each other once and start consciously choosing each other again today. Alejandra Siroka reflects on how the early days of a relationship were filled with small but meaningful expressions of choice. You paid attention. You considered your words. You showed up with care. Over time, familiarity can replace that intentionality and the partnership can slip into routine. The shift from “I chose you” to “I choose you” becomes central. One points to history. The other renews commitment in real time. What changes when you speak of your love as a present decision? She shares three grounded ways to bring that awareness back: turn toward your partner with full presence, notice and appreciate who they are becoming, and create small rituals that protect connection. Things to avoid are distracted exchanges and reducing the relationship to logistics alone. She also explores choosing each other during conflict, when saying “I choose us” can create steadiness in hard moments. The invitation is simple yet powerful: treat your relationship as a living connection that can be consciously renewed each day. Quotes “When you are giving someone your full attention, you are saying, in this moment, nothing is more important than you. I choose to be here with you. I choose you.” (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “What I've learned from working with them and also in my 20 plus years of marriage is that this courageous, loving and conscious choice needs to be communicated regularly.” (09:30 | Alejandra Siroka) “This might seem like a small distinction, but it's profound. I chose you speaks to a decision made in the past. It's history. It's done. But I choose you? That's alive. It's happening now. It's a renewal.” (10:45 | Alejandra Siroka) “Sometimes the most powerful time to communicate, I choose you, is during conflict or difficult seasons.” (18:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “Your intimate relationship is not a done deal. It's not something that happened in the past and now just exists on autopilot. It's a living, breathing connection that needs to be renewed, tended to, and consciously chosen.” (21:04 | Alejandra Siroka) Links If you'd like to listen to the song For Keeps by Kimberly Khare, click youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=IQiB74Dmqog To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/mailinglist To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD