Conscious communication


Can Your Feelings Get Hurt?

Can Your Feelings Get Hurt?

A friend offers feedback about your forgetting to call her for her birthday; a lover breaks up with you; a colleague tells you the email you sent has too many typos; a family member expresses their anger at you.  All these interactions can lead to you saying “Ouch, that hurts my feelings!” I’ve heard that expression so many times and became very curious about whether...

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Our Internal Dialogue: How We Got It and How We Can Use It Consciously to Cultivate Healthy Relationships

Our Internal Dialogue: How We Got It and How We Can Use It Consciously to Cultivate Healthy Relationships

When you and I were babies, we came to the world with the ability to communicate.  We cried, stared, moved our limbs, shrieked, cooed, and made all kinds of noises and movements to get attention from our parents and caretakers. We did this for two reasons. One, we could not fend for ourselves, so we needed others to pay attention to us and help us...

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The Main Obstacle to Authentic Speech

The Main Obstacle to Authentic Speech

Oscar’s Wilde quote to “be oneself because everybody else is taken” invites us to show up authentically based on our individuality. The question that has haunted me for decades has been how to do this. Really, how do we communicate in a way that reflects who we truly are? I am writing this blog to address this question. When we want to speak authentically, we...

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6 Fundamental Steps for Women to Communicate Powerfully

6 Fundamental Steps for Women to Communicate Powerfully

As I sit to write this blog, I feel very moved reflecting on the women I’ve supported over the years who have developed the capacity to communicate powerfully. I’m thinking of a woman who was afraid to ask her husband for a divorce, fearing that her family would disown her because of their religious beliefs. This courageous woman learned to speak to her family with...

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How to Communicate Respectfully with Women

How to Communicate Respectfully with Women

The hundreds of women I have worked with who seek to authentically speak their truth are each unique. They all come from different backgrounds. Some were raised in big cities and others in small towns and rural areas. Many were born and lived in different countries. Some had highly educated parents and others had parents who did not receive much formal education. These women work...

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How to Communicate Love Out Loud

How to Communicate Love Out Loud

I’ve heard many times from my teachers that one of the things that matters most at the end of our life is how deeply and sincerely we were able to love. The teaching about our ability to love has been imprinted in my heart since I was young. I vividly remember hearing my mother talking to my grandmother’s body at my grandmother’s wake asking her,...

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Quieting the Inner Interrogator

Quieting the Inner Interrogator

The beginning of the year found you contemplating new actions you want to take. You can feel a certain kind of electricity in your body when you consider the kind of experiences you can have if you take action. And in an instant, that sense of electricity gets dimmed. Your inner knowing is overpowered by a familiar inner voice I call the Inner Interrogator. Yes,...

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Unwrapping the Gift of Change in Family Dynamics

Unwrapping the Gift of Change in Family Dynamics

The holiday season and the end of the year can be a wonderful opportunity to choose to communicate consciously with family and friends.  I often hear from some of you that the holidays are challenging because you will be spending time with people with whom you have established challenging communication dynamics. In many cases, these dynamics lead us feeling disappointed, frustrated and unseen for who...

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Compassionate Responses to Others’ Pain

Compassionate Responses to Others’ Pain

In the past few months, natural disasters have struck many parts of the world.  Hurricanes, mud slides, earthquakes, flooding and wild fires have wiped out entire communities.  Some lost loved ones, homes and dreams. Some lost everything. Whether you know people directly affected by these events or not, at some point in your life you will encounter someone who lived through some kind of tragedy...

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Reaching in, Speaking out, and Committing to Peace in the Face of Violence and Hatred

Reaching in, Speaking out, and Committing to Peace in the Face of Violence and Hatred

The violent events in Charlottesville last week affected me deeply. I felt heartbroken about the pain of polarization, racism, intolerance, and xenophobia that has haunted this country’s history and seems to be humanity’s sad and enduring legacy. I felt confused, angry and thirsty for solutions to heal this pain.   The tragedy of how racial beliefs override our ability to see each other first as...

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