Being Real

Transform Your Life and Relationships
by Speaking the Language of Your Heart


A live 9-week online course to experience your core values, your intrinsic empathic nature and your capacity for authentic expression for a more deeply connected and joyful life.

with Alejandra Siroka, M.A.

You long for authenticity in your relationships with others. You want to cultivate deeper connection that comes from honest communication.

Imagine having healthy, nurturing and lasting relationships as a result of speaking clearly, truthfully and with heart.

Imagine being able to skillfully communicate with your friends, your partner, your colleagues even in challenging circumstances. You can have these experiences because all of us human beings have the capacity to thrive in relationships.

72824764-copy-2However, like so many, you don’t know how to truly express who you are or what you need. Some of your relationships feel superficial. Turning to social media to express yourself might help on occasion, but it is not fully satisfying and can actually create more of a sense of disconnection and confusion.

You often don’t speak up for fear of offending others. Your interactions frequently leave you feeling misunderstood, frustrated or powerless.

You are not alone; real connection is what we all yearn for. In fact, we now know from the field of neuroscience that the human brain is wired for connection. To experience this we need to express ourselves differently.

Most likely, you inherited the language you are using, and it reflects the conditioned patterns, beliefs and assumptions of your family and your culture.

It is not a language you have chosen, yet this language is your most frequent and influential tool for making sense of and relating to yourself, others and life.

This inherited language is what I call the Language of Survival.

When you speak the Language of Survival your life experience becomes limited which creates feelings of isolation.

When the sense of disconnection continues, you are more prone to anxiety and depression — the two most common disorders of our time.

That longing in your heart for a fulfilling human experience that goes beyond survival is not a utopian fantasy. A life where authenticity, connection and compassion are present is not only imaginable, it is your birthright.

Language has the power to transform every aspect of life and bring about the connection and ‘realness’ for which you long.

When you connect to what you are experiencing within and are able to express that without judgment towards yourself or other, you speak the Language of Your Heart.

As you learn to become what is true for you, your brain circuitry shifts, your nervous system relaxes and you experience more energy, clarity and peace.

This connection needs to start with yourself and understanding the language of your inner dialogue. Through this awareness you uncover what you really want.

love and friendship concepts - two hands

As you clarify your true longings you are better able to share them with others to foster thriving relationships.

In this transformative 9‐week course we will harness the power of language to bring about the life and relationships you are capable of having.

Through a Unique Process — What I Call Language Alchemy — You Will Learn the Tools and Practices to:

Decrease the influence of the Language of Survival

Translate self-criticism into compassionate self-understanding

Tap into your core values

Speak in alignment with your core values even in difficult situations

Interact with presence rather than react from conditioned patterns

Converse more and argue less

Develop more satisfying human connections

By the end of this course, you will know that when you speak the Language of Your Heart, you can transform your life and every relationship.

The Importance of Language

72819985The capacity for language and communication is wired into us.  It is our neurobiological heritage and it can also become our destiny.  As adults, language becomes our primary tool of thought and means to name our reality.  We use words to think, and we use words to define the world we live in. As children, we have openness and curiosity to receive the world as it comes.

We do not yet have preconceived ideas and expectations about how the world should be, or who we should be. In addition, we rely on other ways of connecting to the world – feelings, sensations, touch – that may be pre-verbal or non-verbal.

As we grow and our linguistic skills become more sophisticated, we rely more and more on language to think and to make sense of the world. Language then becomes a permanent resource in our minds that we use to reason, to observe and to relate.

We draw upon language constantly in our inner dialogues; that is, the conversations that occur in our minds. At the same time, our use of language becomes more and more unconscious and habitual.  Just as our breath affects our nervous system and we usually breathe without realizing it, our language shapes our experience and thus our belief system without our awareness.

people heart copyThe exploration of the language we use is critical to our personal evolution. When we look deeply into the ways in which we communicate in our internal and external interactions, we find habitual and unconscious patterns. While these patterns contributed to our initial making sense of our environments, they may no longer be useful or may actually move us away from what is important to us.

By consciously exploring our unconscious language we realize that we can actually change how we think about ourselves, others and the world. When we bring awareness, curiosity and empathy to this linguistic journey we can enhance the quality of our personal interactions and bring about a more integrated, compassionate and connected human experience.

A Personal Message from Alejandra

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I didn’t have many friends for the first twenty years of my life. I was always passionate about language but I didn’t really know how to communicate when I felt angry, sad or misunderstood. In those instances I closed off and felt too righteous, too embarrassed or too hurt to be able to say anything.

I was uncomfortable arguing, so at the first sign of conflict I simply built walls of silence until my friends and I grew apart. It took years of self-­inquiry to recognize my heartbreak at not having had the courage to say how I felt or to listen to those I called friend.

During my first year of marriage, my husband and I had a disagreement that at the time seemed of immense proportions. I went to a yoga class and as I connected to my breath and my inner essence, I was surprised to find peace so readily available to me so soon after the intensity of the experience with my husband.

Walking home from that yoga class I remembered the friends I had lost. I did not want to lose the marriage.  From that place of self-­connection that yoga created for me, I recognized three important truths about myself.

The first was acknowledging my pattern of running away from perceived conflict for fear of not being loved if I spoke up. The second was that I longed for profound connection with my husband. The third was that if I wanted to honor our commitment of marriage and love I needed the courage to be able to be in conflict without running away.

I think it was that day when Language Alchemy was born. In our ten years of marriage, our language and the way we communicate with one another is more transparent, more compassionate and more loving. We keep being open and curious about one another and it is that openness that allows us to disagree, enter into conflict and share our most vulnerable thoughts and feelings with awareness, compassion and love.

Learning to connect to my true essence (my Heart) and speak from there also allowed me to have deep conversations about death and funeral arrangements with my father before he passed (a topic he was unwilling to touch), to have beautiful respectful disagreements about religion with my mother, and also to keep dear friendships thriving and growing.

I know the healing power of language and I invite you to experience it yourself. You too, can transform your life and relationships and live the richness of deep human connection.

Here’s What You’ll Learn

Week 1: The Power of Language: Starting With Heart-Based Intentions


Setting intentions is an essential first step. When your intentions come from your heart, your energy and attention will flow in the direction of what is important to you because you declare and act on your willingness to stretch into something that matters to you.  In week one, you will begin by connecting to your heart-­‐based intentions for this course. You will also start to feel the relationship between your language and your body. You will then learn a simple and powerful practice that will impact the language you use in your interactions with others and in your internal speech.

In this course session you will discover how to:

  • Open to heart-­‐based intentions to stretch into conscious communication and thriving relationships
  • Recognize the relationship between language and your body
  • Bring awareness to your internal speech

Week 2: Connection to Self: Reducing Reactivity by Tapping into Your True Experience


Language is a powerful alchemical tool when you become aware of the influence it has on your relationships. Bringing awareness to your language in specific relationships will transform the way you interact. You will notice what happens when you use your senses to express what you are experiencing instead of relying on mental projections, memory or fantasy. In this session, you will start to experience in your expression, more connection with others and more compassion with yourself.

In this course session you will discover how to:

  • Access the sensations of your body as it relates to your interaction with self and others
  • Understand the impact your language has on your relationships
  • Feel the difference between observations and judgments
  • Bring awareness to your internal speech

Week 3: Your Internal Landscape: Uncovering Your Core Values Underneath Your Fixed Stories

Authentic connection with ourselves and others requires us to be present with what is going within ourselves. This is what I call being with our Internal Landscape. As you become aware of your internal landscape you find treasures of core values buried underneath conditioned stories. In week three, you will learn to uncover your true internal communication system that guides you towards your values. When you connect to your values, you have access to the longings of your heart. Once you are in touch with these longings you become open to expressing yourself in a deeper and more authentic way. From there, you will start to experience significant shifts in your relationships.

In this course session you will discover how to:

  • Listen to your conditioned stories to unveil your feelings and values
  • Connect to your core values to express yourself authentically
  • Unlock the hidden energy of your heart’s longings

Week 4: The Language of Survival: Recognizing How Your Habitual Communication Patterns Create Disconnection   

When you unconsciously and habitually speak the Language of Survival, you experience life and your relationships as a constant struggle in which there are very limited choices. The Language of Survival is a form of conditioning that sabotages your ability to act from your core values and the longings of your heart. In week four, you will become aware of the ways in which you unconsciously speak of -­‐ and therefore believe in -­‐ life as a struggle.

In this course session you will discover how to:

  • Experience the process of taking a fixed position
  • Clarify communicative tactics that maintain the position: defending, attacking, recruiting, retreating
  • Identify the dynamics of disconnection that avoid vulnerability (8 ways of disconnecting)

Week 5: The Language of Your Heart: Communicating Empathically to Bring Forth Deep and Lasting Connection

When you choose to align your communication with the wisdom of your heart, your bring about a level of honesty and presence that inspires others to communicate with you in a more authentic way. In week five, you will learn to listen to others deeply and empathically without taking things personally. Your curiosity will guide your heart to open towards others and you will experience the power of compassionate presence.

In this course session you’ll discover how to:

  • Develop your capacity for empathic connection with others
  • Learn conscious listening skills
  • Cultivate open‐hearted curiosity as a foundation for connection

Week 6: The Alchemy of Courage: Keeping Your Heart Open in Challenging Situations

Joy, sunlight, wheat.

Difficult situations are where you discover the deepest power of compassionate connected communication. In these moments, you have the choice to call forth your essential qualities of curiosity, openness and vulnerability. You can experience the power of vulnerability to foster connection without fear of being injured, fragile or destroyed. In week six, you will learn to face challenging situations with presence, power and compassion. As a result, you will experience a sense of deeper connection with yourself and with those in the challenging situation with you.

In this course session you’ll discover how to:

  • Discover the power of vulnerability
  • Learn tools for developing transparency to self and others
  • Harness the energy of conflict to forge new connections

Week 7:  The Heart in Collaboration: Developing Thriving Relationships for a Joyful Life

Group of ten friends at the park holding hands

Being able to ask for what you need, express and receive feedback with openness and awareness are essential components of authentic communication. In week seven, you will learn to strengthen collaboration, ask for support and provide clear reflections in genuine ways. As a result, you will experience a greater sense of confidence in your ability to develop thriving relationships with others and receiving the support you need to have a nourishing life.

In this course session you’ll discover how to:

  • Give and receive feedback from a place of self-connection
  • Request collaboration and equality from others
  • Co-create healthy and thriving dynamics with others

What People Are Saying…

“My relationship with a coworker started to change after I used the techniques I learned in this workshop and another one I took with Alejandra. It is still an ongoing process, but I feel I now have the tools to deal with issues that come up. I had one conversation with her after she did something at work that upset me, and something she said made me realize that I had been assuming things that actually weren’t true. Afterwards I felt a connection to her that I hadn’t felt in years.”

— Karina M., Professor


“This course is great for teachers who are looking for ways to better manage and communicate with their students.”

Jill S., Middle School Teacher


“I became more conscious when interacting with others and the course changed the way I perceive people and situations around me.”

 Laura T., Yoga Teacher, North Carolina

“The subjects were presented clearly for discussion, and not only our solutions but the solutions reveal themselves in a way that inspires greater levels of communication. Alejandra imparts these techniques that reveal the true potential of our communication. “

— Brian B. Software Engineer


“All these methods of communication have been very effective in making my work environment less hostile and draining.”

— Lee B., Colorist


“I have used some of the things I learned through this workshop to better communicate with a family member (my brother). There were only two possibilities in the past, silence or anger. With the skills provided to me during this workshop and if I put them to good use, those possibilities could give way to a healthier and long lasting dialogue.”

— Gabriela B., Interpreter

What You’ll Receive

This 9-week online course offers a variety of learning tools designed to offer different approaches to the material.


Nine weekly, LIVE interactive course sessions with Alejandra. Each week, you will have the opportunity to participate in dyads and small groups during the sessions.

Nine recordings of the live course sessions. All sessions will be available for download or streaming so you can review material or catch up on a missed a session.

Nine extra teaching audios corresponding to each week of the course. These audios will contain materials to supplement the weekly course sessions. Audios will be made available weekly to download or stream.

Three recorded guided meditations where Alejandra invites you to further your self-inquiry.

Access to a private, interactive course website for all participants where you will have all course materials, and a space to connect further with Alejandra and fellow participants. In this private online community you will be able to ask additional questions, post comments and share your experience in your transformative journey.

A learning partner with whom you will have a 20-minute structured call on a weekly basis in between course sessions. These practice calls will provide the opportunity to deepen your learning, offer encouragement and be supported by a fellow participant.

Nine PDF handouts to accompany each weekly course session. These handouts will have a summary of main teaching points as well as instructions for the activities provided in each session.

Nine structured journal prompts to support you in your written self-inquiry and help you keep track of your process.


What People Are Saying…

“This course was a very worthwhile experience. It made me realize that communication consists of many patterns created by habit and internal dialogue. The workshop helped me bring awareness to these patterns.” 

Thais S., Nutritionist


“My relationship with myself seems to have opened and become more loving and tolerant as a result of the course.” 

Nisha C., Consultant

“Alejandra leads with a natural grace that invites openness and participation. Her centered and unflappable presence “holds” the group and encourages risk-­‐taking by participants.”

— Mike K., Artist

“The impact your teachings have had on me and my life has been life-­
changing. Speaking from the Heart continues to be a part of my life and remains a daily practice. The way you lead with authentic compassion and empathy is inspiring. I believe in and understand the importance of this work as a way to bring more honesty to ourselves and into our relationships. Thank you.”

— Christy Evans, Yoga Teacher

It’s Not Just a Course, It’s a Community

Being real, communicating authentically from the depths of your Heart is perhaps the most powerful and fulfilling decision you can make, for your present relationships, for your life and the future of the world.

In this alchemical journey, questions and challenges to your implicit beliefs will arise along the way, so to get the most out of your experience in this course with Alejandra, you need not only training, but ongoing support and a deep connection with others on the same path.

When you register for Being Real: Transform Your Life and Relationships by Speaking the Language of Your Heart you’ll become a member of an inspired, vibrant global learning community of individuals just like you who are seeking to connect with themselves and others in an authentic way. Aside from the live course sessions, you will be interacting online with Alejandra and with your fellow participants around the world through a private social network created exclusively for the participants in this course.

As a part of each week’s curriculum, you’ll be given exercises for contemplation and reflection, and invited to post your responses on the private forum. Alejandra will be available on a weekly basis to answer your questions along the way.

To register click here

From wherever you live, starting on October 6th, you can join Alejandra Siroka, and spend nine weeks uncovering your core values, experiencing your intrinsic empathic nature and your capacity for authentic expression for a more deeply connected and joyful life. Register here for Being Real and transform your life and relationships by speaking the Language of your Heart.

  • Course Starts on: January 5th, 2017  (LIVE interactive course sessions will be held every Thursday from January 5th to March 9th for a total of 9 weeks)
  • All live course sessions will be recorded so you will never miss a session and you can listen at your convenience.
  • Here’s what you’ll receive for your course fee:
  • 9 90-minute interactive course sessions with Alejandra Siroka in which you can actively participate each week
  • 9 teaching and practice supplemental audioss (15-20 minutes each)
  • 9 PDF handouts corresponding to each live course session
  • 9 structured journal prompts to deepen your self-inquiry
  • 7 weekly 20-minute calls with a learning partner to deepen your understanding and practice your newly acquired communication skills
  • 3 recorded guided meditations
  • Private course website to interact with Alejandra and other course participants
  • Discussion forums to engage with Alejandra and interact with fellow participants from around the globe
Language Alchemy


Being Real: Transforming your Life and Relationships
by Speaking the Language of Your Heart


If you have any questions, please email at


Frequently Asked Questions


What is an experiential online course?

Every week for 7 weeks, you have the opportunity to participate in a live interactive class from the comfort of your home. You join the class through a phone or your computer. In each class, a communication topic and skill will be introduced and you will have the chance to practice and interact with fellow course participants as well as with Alejandra, during the Q&A session. Every live class will be recorded so you can stream or download each class to listen to it and work with the corresponding handout at a time that works for you. Classes with Alejandra are LIVE on Wednesdays.

You will also be assigned a practice partner with whom you will engage in further guided practice of your newly acquired communication skills.

What are the dates and times for the live course sessions?

All live classes start at 5:30pm (PST) and end at 7:00pm (PST)

All live course session recordings will be available on our private website the Friday after the Wednesday live session. You can stream or download the recording at any time on Friday and save it on your favorite device (computer, tablet, mobile phone).

All course session supplemental audios will be available on the Saturday after the Wednesday live session.

Do I need any special equipment?

The technological equipment you’ll need is a computer with an Internet connection, and a phone (mobile or landline) or SKYPE free phone line if you wish to participate in the live interactive course sessions and to engage in supplemental practice with your learning partner.

What if I miss a live course session? Can I hear it again?

Yes, all live course sessions will be recorded and they will be available for you 48 hours after every live session. In fact, many people are unable to attend all the sessions live and some participants will only listen to the recordings because of their time zones. Once the recordings are available on our private course website, you can stream them directly from your computer or download them and save them on your favorite device. If you are not able to attend the live course sessions, you can still post questions on the Forum and interact with Alejandra that way. You will still have a learning partner to talk to on a weekly basis and practice your newly acquired skills at a time that is convenient to you. We are confident that you will feel very much a part of our community and enjoy the camaraderie of sharing this alchemical journey with other participants.

Where it the course being held?

Because this is an online course, you can attend the sessions and do the practice from the comfort of your own home in a way that works best for you. Wherever your computer is, wherever your phone is, you can participate in this course. It’s recommended that you create a quiet space and time where you are, but it is possible to call from a phone while you are outside or log in from your hotel room if you’re traveling.

What if I have not done much self-inquiry or meditation before?

No previous meditation or self-inquiry experience is necessary in order to participate in this program. Any time in your life is a great time to learn to quiet the mind, make space for self-connection and develop deeper understanding of yourself.